I want someone to ask me how I'm feeling and really care about my response. I want them to actually fully listen to what I'm saying, make a connection with me, and then respond.
I feel like I've just been floating through life. Not much more substance than a ghost. Extreme ups-and-downs in a very short amount of time and I don't feel that anyone cares. Not truly.
I don't want someone to help me out because they feel its their duty to God or their religion or family. I want them to help me and listen to me because they, themselves genuinely, sincerely, and honestly want to.
I have a hard time staying motivated after I start something. I can get off track very easily, mostly because I'm easily distracted and I get bored. I need a person, a someone, who will motivate me. Not in an annoying irritating way, but in a way that shows that they wholeheartedly want me to succeed.
I have a dilemma as I don't like getting close to people. It is to easy to be let down, and I don't want to let others down. I know that this statement is a complete contradiction as, one way or the other, something has to change.
I want to stop feeling so lonely and depressed all the time. I want to meet someone who truly makes me feel alive and the most like myself and completely loves me for it.
I want to be able to look at a clock and not care what time it is. I want to stop worrying about the next time I'll have money. I want to stop having very little, if anything, to look forward to. I want to stop feeling anxiety and tension all the time. I want to stop waking up thinking I can't wait to go back to sleep. I want to stop longing for things in the past that are done and gone.
I want to be able to truthfully be happy.
Monday, April 8, 2013
Sunday, March 24, 2013
The Joys of Higher Education
Right off the bat let me just say that I did not intended to make the title misleading. True, I am not yet enrolled in university, but this will give you a little insight to my application process.
I didn't really know if I wanted to go to college or not at first. All I knew is I wanted to get my High School Diploma, which I did and am so relieved to have earned. I was really open to the idea of attending college I just didn't know what for yet. I like writing, but did I really want to be a author? A columnist? I like reading too, did I want to be a editor? A copyright? I was also reasonably good with computers, how about becoming a computer technician? Well 2 years later and I have compared and contrasted my different interests and skills and finally figured out what I want to do.
I'm not bad at classwork, especially if the subject is interesting to me, I'm just not very good at paperwork and heres what has hindered me from the start.
Okay, first things first, I needed a standardized test score. I compared both the SAT and the ACT and after careful consideration have decided to take the ACT. My test date is a little over two weeks away so I have been spending a lot of time prepping for it. I think I'll do fine and I am not too worried about it.
Next, I need financial aid. I don't have a scholarship and my parents can't afford tuition, so bring on the FAFSA. I am still in the middle of the FAFSA application and let me tell you it is a bitch! Never have I needed to provide SO much information, and never have I read a more irritatingly worded application. My parents are currently filling out the information it asks about them (they claimed me on their taxes) and once its all done I will be extremely happy.
I just filled out my application for Cleveland State University and I'm submitting it to the admissions office within the next two days.
All in all, I just want all this application/introduction paperwork to be over with so I can put my main focus on coursework. I will be attending their Film & Digital Media classes soon enough and I am ecstatic.
A Little Complaint About The Akron Public School System
In order to fill out my ACT application I needed my high school transcript. Okay, fine. So I went to the Akron Board of Education. At their transcripts office the woman told me that they did not have transcripts for the school I went to (Akron Digital Academy) because it was not part of the Akron Public Schools. The thing is it IS part of the Akron Public Schools. I went there for four years. I've heard teachers talk about it and have seen countless school functions. Whatever. I had to go to Akron Digital Academy's main office and get my transcript there. It may not seem that frustrating to you, but it was a big inconvenience and I almost didn't get my transcript that day due to their offices' closing.
I didn't really know if I wanted to go to college or not at first. All I knew is I wanted to get my High School Diploma, which I did and am so relieved to have earned. I was really open to the idea of attending college I just didn't know what for yet. I like writing, but did I really want to be a author? A columnist? I like reading too, did I want to be a editor? A copyright? I was also reasonably good with computers, how about becoming a computer technician? Well 2 years later and I have compared and contrasted my different interests and skills and finally figured out what I want to do.
I'm not bad at classwork, especially if the subject is interesting to me, I'm just not very good at paperwork and heres what has hindered me from the start.
Okay, first things first, I needed a standardized test score. I compared both the SAT and the ACT and after careful consideration have decided to take the ACT. My test date is a little over two weeks away so I have been spending a lot of time prepping for it. I think I'll do fine and I am not too worried about it.
Next, I need financial aid. I don't have a scholarship and my parents can't afford tuition, so bring on the FAFSA. I am still in the middle of the FAFSA application and let me tell you it is a bitch! Never have I needed to provide SO much information, and never have I read a more irritatingly worded application. My parents are currently filling out the information it asks about them (they claimed me on their taxes) and once its all done I will be extremely happy.
I just filled out my application for Cleveland State University and I'm submitting it to the admissions office within the next two days.
All in all, I just want all this application/introduction paperwork to be over with so I can put my main focus on coursework. I will be attending their Film & Digital Media classes soon enough and I am ecstatic.
A Little Complaint About The Akron Public School System
In order to fill out my ACT application I needed my high school transcript. Okay, fine. So I went to the Akron Board of Education. At their transcripts office the woman told me that they did not have transcripts for the school I went to (Akron Digital Academy) because it was not part of the Akron Public Schools. The thing is it IS part of the Akron Public Schools. I went there for four years. I've heard teachers talk about it and have seen countless school functions. Whatever. I had to go to Akron Digital Academy's main office and get my transcript there. It may not seem that frustrating to you, but it was a big inconvenience and I almost didn't get my transcript that day due to their offices' closing.
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Titli's Busy Kitchen
One of the things you might start to notice about me, if you're reading this blog, Is that I love to cook. Give me some fresh ingredients, a recipe or idea to try, and i'm off! My favorites types of food are Indian/Desi Food, Japanese Food, and Thai Food. The flavors in those cuisines are extraordinary.
I look up a lot of recipes online, even ones that aren't confined to my favorite types of cuisine, as well as cooking videos. I have watched hundreds, if not thousands, of cooking videos,. I could watch them all day, especially if they are made well.
I have searched far and wide on the internet for some tried and true online cooks that I can always depend on, and in 2010 I came across Titli Nihaan. Titli Nihaan is a British YouTube cook, she is absolutely a delight to watch. Her videos are well organized, her recipes are diverse, and the cherry on top is her hilarious personality that keeps you entertain, informed, and intrigued. Oh, and of course her recipes are delicious too.
I haven't found any other online cooks that I like quite as much as Titli. She really is the top of her class. If you would like to see for yourself
I look up a lot of recipes online, even ones that aren't confined to my favorite types of cuisine, as well as cooking videos. I have watched hundreds, if not thousands, of cooking videos,. I could watch them all day, especially if they are made well.
I have searched far and wide on the internet for some tried and true online cooks that I can always depend on, and in 2010 I came across Titli Nihaan. Titli Nihaan is a British YouTube cook, she is absolutely a delight to watch. Her videos are well organized, her recipes are diverse, and the cherry on top is her hilarious personality that keeps you entertain, informed, and intrigued. Oh, and of course her recipes are delicious too.
I haven't found any other online cooks that I like quite as much as Titli. She really is the top of her class. If you would like to see for yourself
Saturday, March 31, 2012
New Blog
I don't really know why I started this blog. I have a Google account and its connected to many Google owned sites. I just commented on a post on somebody's blog and thought it was cool that I didn't have to log on to or sign up for a new service since Blogger is part of the Google family.
I'm not sure what I'll put on here, or even if i'll keep updating this. But it is nice to have a concrete place, that is connected to my Google Account to write a blog if I feel like it.
I'm not sure what I'll put on here, or even if i'll keep updating this. But it is nice to have a concrete place, that is connected to my Google Account to write a blog if I feel like it.
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